Well, well, well. Funny that I posted yesterday about being locked out when arriving to clean a home. Arrived to clean this morning at a really,really nice home that is a "regular" of mine. No key in the regular place. Looked all around. Nothing. Tried calling the owner at work. Left a message. Sat in my car for a bit. Waiting...waiting. Gave up and left.
Fast forward about an hour. Got a frantic call from said homeowner. Finally was able to gain access to their home following their instructions. They had left the money, but forgot to put the key out.
I know things are bound to happen, just thought it was crazy considering my post yesterday. I haven't been locked out in a looong time.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
What your housecleaner wants you to know, but (probablly) won't tell you.
All of these are true stories/have actually happened to me while cleaning.
I know the formatting is crazy...tried to fix it several times and it won't work !
Anyway...all true. Here goes......
1. I am a human being. This is my job. It is not a source of recreation for me. I work hard at
my job, just like you do at yours. Please respect the fact that this is a job for me.
2. I am not stupid. I (personally) have a college education. If I can clean your house in 2
hours and make 70-100 dollars doing it....that means I make 35-50 dollars per hour. This
is equal in pay to what a beginning pharmacist makes. I set my own hours. I can be home
for my kids when I need to. I don't work any holidays or weekends. Now, what is stupid
about that ? If I clean 1 house every day I can make up to 500 per week. If I clean two
per day I can make up to 1000.00 per week. That is all for about 20 hours of work. :).
3. Do not call at the last minute to cancel your cleaning. Do not call at the last minute
to cancel as a customer. I hold your spot open just for you, respect it. Give me at
least 24 hours notice for a cancellation, at least a week if you want to stop services.
(see #1). I count on your house as a source of income.
4. Do not clean your house BEFORE I come to do an estimate. This is not fair to you or me.
Yes I will quote you a cheaper rate if I see that your house is clean to start with. But if
I arrive to clean and it is a pig pen, your rate WILL go up. Honesty is the best policy.
5. Do not expect something for nothing. Cleaning houses is HARD work. I will sweat, I will
scrub things with tooth brushes and shine your faucets. I will do my very best to please
you in every way. Don't expect me to clean your 4500 sq. foot "mansion" for 30.00. If
you are able to live in a house of that size, you can afford to pay me a decent wage !
6. The better the pay, the more inclined I will be to cater to your every whim. Let's face it
money talks !
7. I don't pick up pet poop or sponge pet pee out of carpets. Yuck.
8. If fluffy bites, put fluffy in a cage before I arrive. I will not risk injury to clean your toilets.
9. I don't clean up human pee, poop, vomit, or other bodily fluids. Yuck. It is SO disrespectful
when I come in to clean your house and find poop caked to your toilet rims and under the
seat. Yes, I see it. No, I do NOT enjoy cleaning it. If you are so lazy that you can't clean
that much up between cleanings you have problems. I wouldn't expect someone else to wipe
up my poo. It is so disgusting. I may scrub it off the first time, but we will have words.
Oh and I DO notice the strange opaque droplets of ...something...near your bed on your
hardwood floors, and even under or around your computer desk. Yes people, I am not
dumb. I find this all the time and I do think it is gross that you can't at least wipe it up!
10. If your house is infested with stomach flu, pneumonia, or other illness PLEASE
oh please reschedule your cleaning !!!! I don't want to catch it !!
11. If you don't want me to see it, don't leave it laying around. Especially in the bedroom!
'Nuff said.
12. I know all your dirty secrets. Like how you have Bibles on your end tables and Playboy
magazines in your bathroom.
13. Bachelors houses are the absolute dirtiest houses I have EVER cleaned. Come on, guys.
you can do better. I actually got the heaves trying to clean one guys bathroom. I have
seen truck stops that are cleaner !
14. Every home owner should at LEAST know what products they want used in their home.
15. Every home owner should at LEAST have toilet brushes of some kind for every bathroom.
Do you really want me to bring my own toilet brush ? Do you really want me carrying one
drippy toilet brush all over your house to each bathroom. YUCK !!!!!
16. The most ANNOYING thing is for you to expect me to clean with a vacuum that has no
suction. I will inform you of the problem. Please fix it. It is not my job. I am no mechanic.
I will do the best I can with the tools you give me. If your vacuum is a piece of junk, expect
your floors to have lots of little pieces of junk left all over them.
17. If you want me to bring my own cleaning supplies, there is an extra fee. (see #16).
18. If you have indoor pets, there is an extra fee. Pet hair is HARD to clean up !
19. If you have hardwood floors and you want polish on them at every cleaning, pay up !
20. If you are expecting contractors or relatives to stop by while I am cleaning..and you are not
going to be home TELL ME or RESCHEDULE. There is nothing like being scared to death
by a suprise visitor walking into the house !
21. Yes, you can be home while I clean. NO I do not PREFER it. I am cleaning hard. You are
going behind me tracking up floors and getting water spots on the sinks. Your kids are
annoying. Your newborn is asleep and I will wake them up with the vacuum. You are
following me around talking to me and it is slowing me down. You can be home. I will
smile, but I will be gritting my teeth and hoping you don't mess things up!
22. PLEASE KEEP YOUR HOUSE COOL when I AM THERE ! I cannot clean when the heat
is set on 78. I am working hard. Do you see me wiping my brow ? Take a hint. If I come
in to clean while you are gone I WILL set the a/c to my desired level. I will put it back when
I leave.
23. No, I don't want a key to your house. That is a HUGE liability.
24. Turn off your ALARM SYSTEM so I can get in. It's no fun having the cops show up !
25. If I arrive to clean and you don't leave my money, your house will stay dirty.
26. If I arrive to clean and I cannot get into your home due to no fault of my own, you
will owe me 1/2 of my normal charge for my time, trouble, and gasoline expense. (see#1).
27. Do not flirt with me. I am married.
28. I am HUMAN. If I miss something KINDLY tell me and I will either come back that
very day to make it "right"or I will make SURE I get it next time. Every house is
different. Don't pull a Kate Gosselin and fire me because I forgot to clean behind your
hamper the very first time I cleaned. We can work it out ! I am a nice person !
29. Don't ask me to do things I've already told you that I don't do. Such as move furniture,
shampoo carpets , or spring clean.
30. If you have priceless relics in your home, tell me and I won't touch them !
31. If your house is quirky .....tell me !! Such as a loose stair tread that I might trip on, a
basement that floods if there is too much rain, music that turns on for the dog, etc.
32. Make yourself available for phone calls. If I cannot reach you in emergency or to reschedule
then I won't be able to continue cleaning for you.
33. Don't get an estimate, say you want me to clean, then cancel on the very day I am supposed
to show up. Like I said, this is my JOB.
34. Don't apologize over and over for your mess. Everybody has it. Yours is probablly NOT
the worst I've seen. Trust me. Really. TRUST me.
35. Don't look at me as someone who is "lower" than yourself. (See #2).
36. Yes, we can be friends......but remember.....mixing business and pleasure is very risky!
37. If you like my cleaning, please pass the word along to your friends. If you DON'T like my
cleaning, TELL ME !!!
These are just a few things that I thought of......more to come in my adventures of housecleaning !!!
I know the formatting is crazy...tried to fix it several times and it won't work !
Anyway...all true. Here goes......
1. I am a human being. This is my job. It is not a source of recreation for me. I work hard at
my job, just like you do at yours. Please respect the fact that this is a job for me.
2. I am not stupid. I (personally) have a college education. If I can clean your house in 2
hours and make 70-100 dollars doing it....that means I make 35-50 dollars per hour. This
is equal in pay to what a beginning pharmacist makes. I set my own hours. I can be home
for my kids when I need to. I don't work any holidays or weekends. Now, what is stupid
about that ? If I clean 1 house every day I can make up to 500 per week. If I clean two
per day I can make up to 1000.00 per week. That is all for about 20 hours of work. :).
3. Do not call at the last minute to cancel your cleaning. Do not call at the last minute
to cancel as a customer. I hold your spot open just for you, respect it. Give me at
least 24 hours notice for a cancellation, at least a week if you want to stop services.
(see #1). I count on your house as a source of income.
4. Do not clean your house BEFORE I come to do an estimate. This is not fair to you or me.
Yes I will quote you a cheaper rate if I see that your house is clean to start with. But if
I arrive to clean and it is a pig pen, your rate WILL go up. Honesty is the best policy.
5. Do not expect something for nothing. Cleaning houses is HARD work. I will sweat, I will
scrub things with tooth brushes and shine your faucets. I will do my very best to please
you in every way. Don't expect me to clean your 4500 sq. foot "mansion" for 30.00. If
you are able to live in a house of that size, you can afford to pay me a decent wage !
6. The better the pay, the more inclined I will be to cater to your every whim. Let's face it
money talks !
7. I don't pick up pet poop or sponge pet pee out of carpets. Yuck.
8. If fluffy bites, put fluffy in a cage before I arrive. I will not risk injury to clean your toilets.
9. I don't clean up human pee, poop, vomit, or other bodily fluids. Yuck. It is SO disrespectful
when I come in to clean your house and find poop caked to your toilet rims and under the
seat. Yes, I see it. No, I do NOT enjoy cleaning it. If you are so lazy that you can't clean
that much up between cleanings you have problems. I wouldn't expect someone else to wipe
up my poo. It is so disgusting. I may scrub it off the first time, but we will have words.
Oh and I DO notice the strange opaque droplets of ...something...near your bed on your
hardwood floors, and even under or around your computer desk. Yes people, I am not
dumb. I find this all the time and I do think it is gross that you can't at least wipe it up!
10. If your house is infested with stomach flu, pneumonia, or other illness PLEASE
oh please reschedule your cleaning !!!! I don't want to catch it !!
11. If you don't want me to see it, don't leave it laying around. Especially in the bedroom!
'Nuff said.
12. I know all your dirty secrets. Like how you have Bibles on your end tables and Playboy
magazines in your bathroom.
13. Bachelors houses are the absolute dirtiest houses I have EVER cleaned. Come on, guys.
you can do better. I actually got the heaves trying to clean one guys bathroom. I have
seen truck stops that are cleaner !
14. Every home owner should at LEAST know what products they want used in their home.
15. Every home owner should at LEAST have toilet brushes of some kind for every bathroom.
Do you really want me to bring my own toilet brush ? Do you really want me carrying one
drippy toilet brush all over your house to each bathroom. YUCK !!!!!
16. The most ANNOYING thing is for you to expect me to clean with a vacuum that has no
suction. I will inform you of the problem. Please fix it. It is not my job. I am no mechanic.
I will do the best I can with the tools you give me. If your vacuum is a piece of junk, expect
your floors to have lots of little pieces of junk left all over them.
17. If you want me to bring my own cleaning supplies, there is an extra fee. (see #16).
18. If you have indoor pets, there is an extra fee. Pet hair is HARD to clean up !
19. If you have hardwood floors and you want polish on them at every cleaning, pay up !
20. If you are expecting contractors or relatives to stop by while I am cleaning..and you are not
going to be home TELL ME or RESCHEDULE. There is nothing like being scared to death
by a suprise visitor walking into the house !
21. Yes, you can be home while I clean. NO I do not PREFER it. I am cleaning hard. You are
going behind me tracking up floors and getting water spots on the sinks. Your kids are
annoying. Your newborn is asleep and I will wake them up with the vacuum. You are
following me around talking to me and it is slowing me down. You can be home. I will
smile, but I will be gritting my teeth and hoping you don't mess things up!
22. PLEASE KEEP YOUR HOUSE COOL when I AM THERE ! I cannot clean when the heat
is set on 78. I am working hard. Do you see me wiping my brow ? Take a hint. If I come
in to clean while you are gone I WILL set the a/c to my desired level. I will put it back when
I leave.
23. No, I don't want a key to your house. That is a HUGE liability.
24. Turn off your ALARM SYSTEM so I can get in. It's no fun having the cops show up !
25. If I arrive to clean and you don't leave my money, your house will stay dirty.
26. If I arrive to clean and I cannot get into your home due to no fault of my own, you
will owe me 1/2 of my normal charge for my time, trouble, and gasoline expense. (see#1).
27. Do not flirt with me. I am married.
28. I am HUMAN. If I miss something KINDLY tell me and I will either come back that
very day to make it "right"or I will make SURE I get it next time. Every house is
different. Don't pull a Kate Gosselin and fire me because I forgot to clean behind your
hamper the very first time I cleaned. We can work it out ! I am a nice person !
29. Don't ask me to do things I've already told you that I don't do. Such as move furniture,
shampoo carpets , or spring clean.
30. If you have priceless relics in your home, tell me and I won't touch them !
31. If your house is quirky .....tell me !! Such as a loose stair tread that I might trip on, a
basement that floods if there is too much rain, music that turns on for the dog, etc.
32. Make yourself available for phone calls. If I cannot reach you in emergency or to reschedule
then I won't be able to continue cleaning for you.
33. Don't get an estimate, say you want me to clean, then cancel on the very day I am supposed
to show up. Like I said, this is my JOB.
34. Don't apologize over and over for your mess. Everybody has it. Yours is probablly NOT
the worst I've seen. Trust me. Really. TRUST me.
35. Don't look at me as someone who is "lower" than yourself. (See #2).
36. Yes, we can be friends......but remember.....mixing business and pleasure is very risky!
37. If you like my cleaning, please pass the word along to your friends. If you DON'T like my
cleaning, TELL ME !!!
These are just a few things that I thought of......more to come in my adventures of housecleaning !!!
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